Benefits of Selective Hearing

“Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you.”
— Ecclesiastes 7:21 (ESV)

Don’t pay attention to everything people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you - — Ecclesiastes 7:21 (CSB) 

 

Introduction: When Words Wound

Words are powerful. They build and destroy, heal and harm. But in a world saturated with opinions, comments, and criticisms—from social media to workplace banter—how do we protect our hearts from unnecessary pain? Ecclesiastes 7:21 gives us a simple yet profound answer: Don’t take everything to heart.

This small verse tucked into the wisdom literature of Scripture speaks volumes about emotional health, relationships, and spiritual maturity. 

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1. The Reality: People Talk—Sometimes Carelessly

The verse begins, “Do not take to heart all the things that people say…” Why? Because people say a lot. Some words are spoken in frustration, others in jest, and some without full knowledge or understanding. Solomon, the writer of Ecclesiastes, was well aware that even those closest to us—like a servant in this context—may speak unkindly behind our backs.

Rather than obsessing over every comment, God invites us to develop wisdom: discern when to listen, and when to let words pass over us like wind.

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2. The Caution: Listening Too Closely Can Hurt

The second half of the verse is sobering: “…lest you hear your servant cursing you.” It’s not just that people might say something bad—it’s that you might actually hear it. That overheard criticism or accidental discovery of someone’s negative opinion can cut deeply, especially if you weren’t meant to hear it in the first place.

Solomon’s advice isn’t about denial or naivety. It’s about knowing the difference between feedback that helps and careless talk that harms. You don’t need to know everything people say about you. Sometimes ignorance is a form of grace.

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3. The Mirror: You’ve Done It Too

The next verse (Ecclesiastes 7:22) adds a crucial reflection: “Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.” Ouch. Just as others have spoken hastily or harshly about us, we too have been guilty of the same.

This realization leads to humility. Before we get offended by what others say, we must remember our own failures with words. This balanced perspective protects us from pride and helps us forgive.

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4. Living It Out: Grace-Filled Ears and Hearts

So, how do we apply Ecclesiastes 7:21 today?

• Practice selective hearing. Not every comment deserves your attention. Discern what to absorb and what to release.

• Guard your emotional energy. Don’t waste precious peace trying to please everyone or respond to every whisper.

• Extend grace to others. Recognize that just like you, others have bad days, moments of weakness, or careless speech.

• Ask God for discernment. Pray for the wisdom to know when to listen and when to let go.

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Conclusion: Let Grace Be Louder Than Gossip

In a time when opinions come at us from every direction, Ecclesiastes 7:21 is a quiet, powerful reminder: You don’t have to take everything to heart. You are not what others say in frustration. Your identity is rooted in God, not gossip.

So let the whispers pass. Let the insults fade. And let your heart be filled with the peace that comes from wisdom, humility, and grace.

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